Change is Good.

Change.  It's inevitable.  Sometimes changes is met with great excitement and anticipation.  Other times, change comes unexpectedly and leaves us shaken, bewildered, and frightened.  And sometimes still we feel change coming, but have no idea what it's going to look like, the toll it may take, or the redemption it may bring.  I feel like life as I know it is about to change, radically.  Truthfully, I am looking forward to it.  I have been too comfortable for far too long, and I have become unproductive...

I haven't been here for a while.  To be honest, I've been swept up in a few great love stories and  have been focusing a lot of my time on nurturing those.  

But I am back.

The words in italics are an old attempt of a blog post back in October.  I was going through some old drafts (all of which were only a title...guess I didn't get too far!) and came across this one,  It hit me like a prophecy-come-true!  There sure has been a great change running it's course in my life.  

The first is that I am in love...totally, head-over-heels, crazy about a guy named Paul.  Ironic, really, because just a few posts ago, I was talking about wanting love someday, but being okay with singleness.  It's funny, when people talk about falling in love they often reference being hit by a train as well - in that it just comes out of nowhere when you are least expecting it.  I would listen and nod my head in agreement, but deep down I think I thought I would know when it was happening.  Like I would be able take some credit for the composition of a fabulous, romantic love story - I forgot for a time who the Author really is.  But God had a plan for me and Paul.  A brilliant one, full of redemption, understanding, openness, and all other great words that I can't think of right now!  I so look forward to filling you in on the details of how we met, yada, yada, yada...so keep in touch!

The other great love story is with me and my Savior.  I want to share with you an excerpt from a post Beth Moore posted on her blog (you can click here for the entire read).

"When we’ve ceased hearing or changing, we need a new environment. I am also mindful that, as I beg Him to keep me fresh and thrilled in His Word, that He often uses difficulty to answer that prayer. About the time I’m feeling a little lifeless or dull, something happens to make those words jump off the page again. Most of my revivals come from survivals. I still need Him so much. I need His Word. I need His Presence. I  need His help. I need His deliverance. It’s weird to realize that sometimes our desperation for Him is an answer to our very own prayers to love Him like nothing else. He is so faithful. I shake my head at the wonder of Him again today."

Amen, Beth.  Here are some things that I love about what she has to say:

• "Most of my revivals come from survivals."  Not only does it rhyme, which is always catchy, but it totally rings true with my heart and experiences.  There is nothing greater that knowing God's power and His faithfulness personally, and being able to look back in wonder of what He has done through a hard season. 
• "...He often uses difficulty to answer prayer."  Holly Furtick put it well in her post about 'Pruning with a purpose', she references John 15:1-2 where Jesus is the True Vine and He cuts off those who don't bear fruit while He prunes those that do so that they bear more fruit.  She shares some information about pruning roses,"Pruning a rose bush will encourage new growth and bloom, removed dead wood, improves air circulation, shapes the plan."  I love that!  God uses difficult times to encourage us to grow into His marvelous plan as he carefully and creatively shapes it!
• "It's weird to realize that sometimes our desperation for Him is an answer to our very own prayers to love Him like nothing else."  I feel like she read my mind with this line.  I have been wanting to explode with love for Jesus and passion for Him, but more often than not, I've just felt desperate for Him.  It's been confusing, wanting to love Him, but just struggling to feel He is near.  I am glad that Beth said this because it made me realize, once again, that His ways are greater than my ways.  And in my desperation for Him, I've reached out to others and He has used them to remind me of all that He says He is. 

God IS so faithful, all His ways are loving, and I am blessed to know this beyond a shadow of a doubt.  

I want to share with you my favorite song right now.  It's Hillsongs spin on the oldie-but-goodie, "Step By Step", their version is called "Like Incense/Sometimes By Step".  Enjoy, friends!


Oh God, you are MY God and I will ever praise You.

i wonder, do you know Him...

Life's been hectic, and my mind has been on other things; so it's been a challenge to speak in this place.  But I have been wanting to share this video with you and I finally found it!  Enjoy with all of your heart and be encouraged and empowered, because this is OUR KING!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z15FlTONVo

laughter: it's a gas.

I debated whether or not to write this post, being that it's only my third one and I am really trying to set the stage for the things that are shared in this space.  But this is a place about me, and a large part of my life is spent laughing...and not always about the most lovely things.  So in an effort to be as real and transparent as possible, I will share this tale with you.  Here's to hoping you'll get a giggle of your own :)
.......
I have the pleasure of living with four young women.  These women are driven, decided, full of life and love for Jesus.  They rise early in the morning to go to work or school for a full day, and when that is over they go to work or school for the rest of the evening.  Their motivation and obedience is an encouragement and I am blessed to watch them as God readies each of them for their next season in life.  I am also thankful that our house is one with no drama.  You may find this hard to believe.  At times, I do.  But, it is the honest-to-goodness-truth, and it's love for one another that makes this house a home.  And this home is full of laughter, lots and lots of laughter.

Tonight, one of the four roommates came home to me on my laptop and Gretchen working diligently on math in the easy chair.  Immediately we knew something was up when some of her first words were, "...ok, just give me a second...I need to use the bathroom," (I am guessing you might have an idea as to where this is going.  If you have a weak stomach or are a bit uptight, this may be a nice place to stop!).  Now, for the sake of keeping this house drama-free, we'll maintain some anonymity and call said roommate 'Wanda-Beth'.  Wanda-Beth was having some not-so-pleasant gas pains.  They came on suddenly during her drive home from an evening worship service at Bethel University.  She attempted to explain the sound her body made as she entered into this perilous state, it went a little something like this, "smmurrfllgblurg, druuplinger, whabshinklugs, smeeowucsniler."  Yeah, uh-oh.  I suggested to her that she embrace the 'farting position', which is pretty much a hybrid of these two yoga poses:

Notice the upper body, down and close to the ground...

...whereas, here, the butt is raised high in the air.

Now I don't claim to be much of a physicist (and please don't ask me how I came to know of such a method), but the laws of gravity definitely work in your favor here, folks.

Wanda-Beth, with slight hesitation and disbelief, took to the floor and in no time was proving to be quite percussive.  And we laughed - hard.  And there was relief for Wanda-Beth.  And I began to really appreciate what I have here within these walls.  This is a safe place.  A place where we can say, "I have bad gas."  A place where one can lay on the floor, in the 'farting position' and seek comfort.  This is a place with real relationships that are not taken for granted.  There is solace within these four walls, and honesty.  In this place, life is half as hard and twice as good.  And there is laughter, lots and lots of laughter.

something worth waiting for.

I am a single girl; have been for quite some time now.  My reaction to this varies at times.  Sometimes I believe I am plagued my my singleness - bound to never find the 'right guy'; at other times I see it as a blessing.  Today, I am blessed to be in this season of waiting and self-discovery.
.....

Today, my good friends, Becca and Rory, celebrate 5 years of marriage.  I have known Becca my whole life (her dad was the Senior Pastor at the church I grew up in), but I never really got to know her or Rory until I worked with her at summer camp in 2008.  Some evenings, Rory would take the male staffers and talk about 'man' stuff, while Becca would take the girls and we'd talk about, well...BOYS!  We sat at Becca's feet as she would tell us these stories about dates that she'd been on, the ugly, figurative, mole on her nose bound to repel any male prospects, and her fears of just never finding the one that would love her.  That is until she met Rory.  It was easy to see that the love these two had for each other was something rare, something worth waiting for.
.....
I have hopes that there is someone out in the world that is right for me.  He may not be perfect, and I don't expect that.  I can hardly wait to meet him; to share our first cup of coffee, to have our first disagreement, and then to talk about it afterwards.  I can hardly wait for the things we will discover together - about the world, ourselves, and God.  I can hardly wait for that season, but I will.  And I'll do it with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.  I'll do it knowing that right now, today, I'm just not ready; and neither is he.  And that's okay with me.  I don't want a love that's rushed into, misunderstood and under-appreciated.  I'm looking for the kind that's rare; the kind that's worth waiting for.


So thanks, Becca and Rory, for being an encouragement and an example of love like Jesus', fleshed-out.  And thanks for the truth you live, that when two people are as in love as you are, an anniversary is really just another day.  Congratulations, and God bless you both!

this is where the story begins.

I felt no hesitation when I was prompted to name this blog; "this is my story, this is my song" just seemed to be the only option.  One of my greatest passions is to one day be able to tell the story of my life with songs that speak truth over lies, and light into dark places - because that is where MY story began.  As a twenty year old, sitting in an office at a small management company, listening to KTIS Christian radio, Jesus' Truth entered into my life of lies and He shined His magnificent light, illuminating my darkened soul.  So this is where my story and my song begins.  Although it's not my story as much as it is His, and my song is always only for Him.  Come and listen.